Welcome to my blog! It will be a long introduction so I hope you have time to read... I have put in much detail as I found it helped me to find others that had done so to, so I hope this helps other sufferers feel less alone and maybe even help some of you recognise your own inexplicable symptoms and get it checked out properly before things progress. Also please excuse any grammatical errors, it is very difficult to think properly and type when you are suffering from chronic mercury poisoning, my intelligence levels have definitely decreased!
I am a 37 year old mother of 2 teenage girls. I will be
using this blog as a diary to document my experiences of living with chronic
mercury poisoning in the UK. It turns
out I am very very sensitive to Mercury, although it is still the 2nd
most toxic substance known to man yet we stick it in our dental fillings??!!
And in our vaccines?? I guess I will start with telling you about the 18 years
of it leaking into my system which has now destroyed my life, leaving me
housebound for the most part of the last year and messing with my brain and
nervous system and the most horrific symptoms... it is a great form of torture that’s
for sure! What is more unnerving is the lack of knowledge within our NHS
framework and inability to deal with it, you are literally left to the dogs
with it and many people will be left in horrific situations without even
knowing that it is mercury because the NHS is inadequate in diagnosing it and
the treatment and tests offered (so they do acknowledge it quietly!) are
substandard and inaccurate.
First.... A little bit of the history of the mystery!
When I was 18 years old I had some dental treatment, a
root canal and some amalgams...... so far so good.... A couple of weeks after
the dental treatment I was just sitting and laughing with some friends when
suddenly I was hit with the most horrific symptoms, similar to a stroke, just
like that.... something in my neck was tugging, my whole face was numb and
pulling and drooped, my right arm was taught and numb and would not work
properly... it was very scary... I didn’t even know what a stroke was back then
otherwise I would have called an ambulance (although it was not stroke I was suffering from but really
resembled it, my heart was fine luckily, but not my brain & nervous
system)..... I waited for it to pass, couldn't walk properly, had no balance, felt
like I had been shot through the brain with a silver bullet (Not far wrong,
more like silver fillings but a long time until I found that out) I laid on the
floor for 2 weeks before throwing myself into the doctors surgery and explained
my symptoms begging for help, only to be snapped at “Don’t be ridiculous, you
are too young to have a stroke.” (Lie might I add) And just sending me off with
painkillers saying it was a stiff neck... Some
stiff neck!!!!!! Returned
after another 2 weeks, begging to help me and saying this was much more than a
stiff neck... again she was very annoyed with me and sent me for a neck X-ray
to prove there was nothing wrong with me.... I gave up seeing docs after that
and just struggled on at home on the floor for 6 months until I regained some
of my functions but I have never been the same since.
I will cut a long story short for the next 17 years and
get to this year which has been horrific and I still do not know if I will ever
be the same again. I carried on with life, having 2 kids and managing to work
but with a really wrong & heavy brain & body... I kept it well hidden
and tried to be as normal as possible but some of the relapses along the way
were horrific, some around dental treatment (more amalgams eeeeek!) I always felt teeth had something to do with
it but never knew why and hoped the medical profession would recognise what the
problem was and help me... I knew it was going to knock me into much worse way
at some point, I could feel it building up and walking became harder.... I
would suddenly become numb and my limbs would not work properly.. a constant
pain in my face and head and neck as though something was crawling around in
there... I bounced between doctors and dentists who all just brushed me off
saying dental problems do not cause problems anywhere else in the body
(ignorance or lies?) Dentists would say if its in your neck then you should
visit your GP.. GP’s would say if its to do with your teeth you need to see a
dentist.. I used to fantasise about meeting a dentist who understood the body
AND the teeth are connected ( they are not separate items floating in space
after all!) As long as I was still walking and bodily signs reading normal
there was no interest in following up my problems, despite me KNOWING it was
getting worse and would disable me one day, of course that was all just in my
head (literally haha in the form of silver fillings!)
At one point, during my second pregnancy I had a terrible
relapse and it was most certainly teeth at the root of this problem, they were
throbbing and I could feel my body screaming RIP TEETH OUUTT!! I couldn’t eat
and was just thrashing about in my bed with electric shocks to my brain and
nervous system... Dentists would not treat me as I was pregnant and said I
would have to wait 6 months for any work and to go home and eat lots of
nurofen... I didn’t eat for weeks except nurofen and I was in great distress,
WITH A BABY IN MY TUMMY!! I ended up finding a private dentist who would remove
a tooth for me (But not the right tooth! I will get to that later) I had
another tooth pulled out without anaesthetic, much against the dentists wishes
as the tooth was apparently healthy but I just knew that teeth had to be ripped
out to fix my problem and as the health service was not to up on what was going
on inside me I had to take DIY action and they caved in and ripped the tooth
out.... so 2 healthy teeth ripped out but still the problem
continued...........
Many years later after still having a good life but carrying this physical condition around with me, about 5 years ago this thing started knocking me to the
floor more regularly and I was having problems making short walks to the bus stop
to get to work & had to start using the car more regularly (I do not believe in using cars to get everywhere and mine would stay parked up for months and used for special occasions)..... After 15 years of getting nowhere I was in despair with
this thing so I registered with an old GP, the only GP I had ever felt a
positive experience with during my pregnancies.... I wrote her a 5 page
heartfelt letter, explaining the whole history, begging her to help me and not
just send me home with tablets..... Of course I ended up being sent home with
tablets as a way of trying to diagnose what was wrong... I tried them for a few
days before throwing them in the bin, they were antidepressants used for
neuralgia pain... I already knew this was way beyond Neuralgia and don’t like
the fact it is not possible to get painkillers for this kind of thing that do
not also work on your brain in some way.... I was quite happy with my brain and
mood, I had become a strong character to remain happy & enjoy my life
whilst carrying this illness around... I did not need help there, I needed help
to find out what was happening in my body and how I could stop it...... But as
I was still walking I wasn't treated that seriously... so much for listening to
the patient and trusting our instincts! We are the most vital piece of
information that medical people can deal with yet we are just brushed off and
they do not like to see terror and anxiety in you and just see that rather than
guessing that the terror and anxiety you are expressing is because of your
illness and that you really need help for it... I think they think we walk around
like that all the time rather than just expressing it in the surgery when we
are asking for help .... there are too many subjective judgements involved in
the medical world, and people get diagnosed on this basis quite a lot, usually
to save money on testing and make more money for big pharmaceutical
companies...And we know how many misdiagnosis get made for people... Or one
doctor says one thing, and the next something completely different . I guess
your diagnosis depends on which doctor you believe... hmmmmm... anyway, I was still without a diagnosis except Neuralgia to explain the nerve pain and huge electric shocks in the back of my head....
Ok, So to this past year... I will get you up to speed
and then from this day on I will start blogging my diary of how things progress
as a sufferer of extreme chronic mercury poisoning in UK society today...
Hopefully it will result in me documenting my healing and improvement and help
others to find a way out of mercury hell when the social system is stacked
against you... currently we are ‘anecdotal evidence’ ....... Many countries
have already banned the use of amalgams and recognise this condition as a
proper illness..... In the UK we have stopped putting it in kids mouths and
pregnant ladies (now there is a quiet acknowledgement that it causes problems!)
Unfortunately most dentists are totally unaware of how they are poisoning
people and will argue against it because it goes against everything they have been
taught and everything they practice.. they would need retraining!! Luckily many
aware dentists do operate mercury free surgeries and many have been changing to
mercury free as they come across patients who inform them of their tests and
conditions, hopefully we can begin to see this trend of change in more and more
dentists and certainly the NHS, GP’s, Neurologists, hospital doctors, all need
to be made more aware of this and have a proper protocol in place to help people
overcome it, if you visit a mercury using dentist to remove your amalgams then
their ignorance could actually make you much more ill so it is vital that you
seek out a proper dentist with knowledge about this subject.... private or DIY
is really the only way right now and that is a hard road for many who have no
funds, particularly if they are fighting with the benefits agency over getting
sick pay, this sick pay will be the only way for some people to be able to
afford the long programme to recovery. This is me right now unfortunately, I
may not be cured because of it and may get into a worse state, I already feel
dementia type symptoms and its only a matter of time before this becomes
irreversible.. Right now I do feel like I have a chance but it is the biggest
challenge of my life......
So March 2012... this thing finally floored me....
bedridden for 2 months until going into A&E in May after a friend found me
in a bad way...... Bodily signs were playing up so kept in for 5 days.....
Student doctor repeatedly ignored my comments about the upper part of body,
jaw, neck, brain, arm.... Kept brushing me off saying she was more interested
about the pains around my liver & rib & back area... said to see my GP
about the upper area as cant possibly be connected, despite me knowing very well
that it is connected, I have been living with it for 18 years so know a hell of
a lot more about my body behaviour than you young lady! Well I didn't say that
as I was too ill J
Soooo had a goose chase trying to prove to me it was gall stones.... all organs
scanned..... nothing.... Body still misbehaving, white blood cells up, temperature
up, blood pressure hitting the floor.... discharged me once signs returned to
normal even though physically I was in a much worse state... stumbled on the
floor on way out and had to get a nurse to wheelchair me to friends car....... Not even knowing what was happening to me or what could be done about it.
Home... getting worse & worse, throat paralysing, couldn't
talk... brain demented and in so much pain like a giant worm was crawling
around in there.... tried walking to the shop across the road, stumbled in the
street, had to hold walls to get home , balance completely gone... people
thought I was drunk and walked around me instead of offering to help...... Tried
to go back to work but failed, using wheely walker to get from car to door....
determined to get better but just not happening, this thing was too strong....
Progressive MS type symptoms..... Fell into A&E in June again..... no
wheelchairs or seat available, 5 hour wait while my brain was popping out of my
head and dementing me... had to stagger and hold walls to get to the booth and
the nurse kind of shied away from
helping me to walk, again I think she thought I was drunk... I guess I must
have looked it now looking back in the light that I was very toxic and
poisoned! Just not with drink and drugs as they probably assumed, I felt like
dirt on the bottom of their shoe ....... Lovely lady doctor saw me and could
really really see how much I was struggling and really wanted to help me get
through A&E and onto a ward but said
I had to fail some tests to get through (she was heavily hinting at me to fail
on purpose but I just couldn’t do that, it would confuse them to what it really
was) .... I passed all the tests so couldn’t be treated as an emergency despite
my obvious symptoms... But she managed to get me a referral to a
neurologist..... waiting list for 5 months while suffering greatly at home,
unable to look after myself or my home or my kids, I just wanted to die, I
really hoped that when I went to sleep that I wouldn’t wake up again, and would
cry when I woke up to another day of physical torture, god did my spirit grow
during this time, it had to, there was no-one lese to help me but me.... Of
course great friends around me did all they could with my housework and feeding
me but no-one could climb inside me and take away the pain and suffering, only
doctors could do that but I was abandoned by them and not regarded as having
anything serious to me (this makes me scccreeeaaaaaaammmmmmm – not being
listened to or taken seriously!!) I heavily researched euthanasia at this time
as enough was enough, it was cruel of nature to keep someone alive in this
state and to be marginalised by the system because my illness did not fit into
the box.... I found exit international and learnt how to die peacefully in bad
situations like mine.... I found a contact in mexico who could get me the
chemicals needed for the peaceful everlasting sleep.... I did not want suicide,
a tragic way to leave this planet.... So I started to prepare those around me
and plant the idea that I would be choosing my death soon and wanted it to be
ok with them.... luckily because they were not ready I could not do it too
quickly but I knew I would have to act fast in case I became incapable of
ordering the chemicals and incapable of putting them to my mouth as my whole
body would often go into paralysis and I wouldn’t know if I would come out of
it again... this was a real life horror movie..... I could only crawl around my
flat feeling like a brain eaten zombie, I didn’t want to end up in a dementia
ward for years and years, I would rather die and while I still had a little
control over my life I felt I should at least get the chemicals in place just
in case..... I never did get them as some hope did start to appear a little,
just enough to pull me out of complete hell but Im still dangling my feet in it
now and do get launched into the full hell of it at times but I know to just
hang on in there and will be able to talk and stand up again at some point....
for now at least....
After a couple more ambulance calls and being dumped
straight into the car park at A&E whilst still suffering with paralysis
and brain pain (because my bodily stuff was acting normal so couldn’t be
anything wrong with me grrrrrr and as it is now a long standing problem that
has progressively got worse A&E can not deal with it grrrrrrrrr this was an emergency for gods sake!!!!!) I
eventually got to see a neurologist for 20 minutes with a quick few basic tests
to make sure its not a brain tumour... passed the tests and got scheduled for
an MRI of brain, 2 more months wait in housebound zombie hell with a tremoring
painful brain & body...... MRI nothing, discharged straight back to GP with
the suggestion that it could be a psychological problem...... Basically thrown
on the scrap pile and offered some counselling...... Now I really was
struggling to hold onto my sanity, I couldn’t believe they were so blind and
just brushing this off as nothing.... I can’t imagine a human body suffering
any more than that and to be just left to it with no help was daunting, how
many years would I exist like this now??? I’m so lucky I have such a strong and
flexible mind or I would have ended up in a mental hospital with all my
physical pains being diagnosed as madness..... Now I did start to think I
should just finish myself off in any way that I could... But I love life and
just want to get back to how I was, even how I was before the past year I would
settle for, at least I could still have fun and get out and about just about
and hold onto my job... I was such a happy soul, this is not like me right now L Thank goodness for
meditation and the power of the soul & mind... ..
OK.... After much more suffering in hell on a daily
relentless basis, a friend finally scooped me up and took me to a private
osteopath (My walking problems were never helped by the NHS, not even offered
despite me turning up to appointments in a wheelchair) This Osteopath was also a kinesiologist
amongst many other things, he could have even led me the psychological route so
he was a good all round person to visit.... Told him everything... Started with
my bones to address walking problems and pain..... clicked everywhere!! I had a
dislocated jaw and my skull was not sitting properly, my foot was also out of
place and needed correcting... I had the works from head to toe.... I felt the
pain disappear J
My jaw felt free for the first time in years after GP told me a week previously
that I would never get rid of this pain and would have to just get used to it......
However, despite the pain moving, I still felt like jelly and I suffered a big
reaction to the bone popping.. had a high temperature for a few days and a very
strong metallic taste in my mouth and throughout my whole body felt metallic and
felt like a strange energy in there buzzing around trying to get out or find a
place to go.... Very strange!!! But he listened to this at my next
appointment... And he read my body language and subconscious a lot!! I was
expecting more bone popping but was disappointed not to get any... he said he
had obviously released something the last time and took a different direction
with me... Muscle tests and kinesiology showed that my body HATED heavy metals,
in particular MERCURY.... He got to my teeth (My old suspicion that I had
buried!) When he manipulated 2 of them my whole right hand side of body
collapsed in a heap.... “They are your problem.. I can’t help you further until
you get that neurotoxin out of your mouth, then I can help you get it out of
your body.” BINGO!!!!!!!!!!!
I DO NOT ACCEPT A DIAGNOSIS TOO EASILY!!! After 18 years
of trying to find out what this is, studying MS, CFS, Fibro etc, although some
kind of mimicked what I was going through I never really felt the BINGO over
anything...... So I started to research mercury/amalgam poisoning and finding
other people’s accounts, particularly UK accounts where it was just like
reading my own story, right down to the journey of the health service and the
symptoms were uncanny, very specific things like electric shocks in the back of
the head, and strange grinding and movement at the base of skull and brain
squirming and moving and tugging.......... Soooo I started to self experiment
with chelators to see if it would make any effect and it did, I started to be able
to move this thing and change it... I will give more specifics in a separate blog
day of the kind of things you could do to see if it makes any changes, self
testing methods, taught me a lot!!!
Then I carefully researched dentists that could
understand this problem more... I travelled out of town for it.... She found
clear evidence of my sensitivity and poisoning by amalgams, as well as
definite decomposing ones... I had white tattoo’s around the exact teeth the
Osteopath had located.. and around any tooth with amalgam.. a clear sign your
body does not like it... Leukoplakia... I have since sent 2 friends to her and she has not identified sensitivity or toxicity but they asked for theirs to be removed anyway.. she did so straight away for the, I am jealous :( I still have this poison in my mouth... But there has to be extra caution taken with my removal because of my heavy load, symptoms and sensitivity.
So here I am, still waiting to get on with the
treatment.... I am waiting for treatment plan for first removal of the worse
teeth then a 3 month wait before the next to see how my body copes with the
side effects of amalgam removal... another story! I’m sure you will get to hear
about it.
The NHS is still not set up to diagnose or equip to
treat this properly despite it being a really big & growing problem in the
UK and globally. It is known, the dangers are known, the evidence is
overwhelming.... Scotland paid millions to treat people for this at one point,
I think the veil lifting a bit on this one made them realise what a big job it
would be to clear the country of mercury, the high cost, the legal claims made,
the retraining of dentists and overhaul of that system... the extra cost of a
new system as amalgam is very very cheap... so England and the UK continue to
remain blank and dumb down about this. Leaving people in dire situations to rot
and suffer... I am very suspicious by my latest symptoms that have added to the
mix that if I visited a dementia hospital and looked inside the mouths I would
have a sea of mercury grinning back a me (and probably pass out twitching at
the fumes!!)
It is dangerous to remove mercury from the body and
should not be done without supervision but I will have to DIY it as I try and
take the DWP to court to claim disability benefits to help me through this and
make sure I can keep stocked up on superfoods, supplements and treatment.... If
I run out of selenium for example, my brain will swell and knock me sideways...
It will be important to maintain a consistent treatment plan here, the body can
not cope with stopping and starting so as well as a battle with mercury and my body, I also
have a big battle with the system over this which makes healing a lot more difficult.....
Luckily I have found great info and have found support groups with many in the
same boat and on different parts of different healing protocols... it’s so nice
to find people going through the same hell and supporting one another and also
seeing how the treatments work, we are all pioneer guinea pigs on a DIY battle
with the 2nd most toxic substance known to man raging inside of us.
Some of these people are visiting various private doctors and on different
healing journeys so it’s great to hear directly what the specialists are saying
as well as see how each journey goes and encourage each other along the road
back to health. It is also great to hear about what the best further tests are
to help monitor mercury levels and see if your treatment is working. I will be
getting my kids tested too as they were in my womb at the most sufferable times
of this... Check out the effects of mercury in the foetus online, that’s why
they do not put mercury in pregnant ladies, neurotoxin that causes lots of
damage. Oh yes, I forgot to mention, the
teeth that I had ripped out, the healthy ones with no anaesthetic, well when I
told my oseto this he said if I had just got the teeth exactly next to the ones
I had ripped out then I would have done the job!! Spooky, I was so close, my
instincts knew, my body knew ,it was pushing me to rip teeth out... I allowed
myself to believe my instincts were wrong by so many professionals over the
years but now I have been reconnected with my instincts and I know they are
King so please please never lose faith in your instincts and go with them, they
could save your life.. If I had known about mercury/amalgam when I was still up
and walking about I would have had them ripped out ages ago.
I will provide more links to information and other
peoples blogs as soon as I figure out how to use a blog! And I will update more
briefly at regular intervals about how the journey is going, it will be a long
one!! I also plan to write up a list of foods and natural products that help with mercury removal from the body once my brain is working a bit better..... For now I remain housebound with growing neurological symptoms.... Watch
this space.
Thank you for taking the time to read my introduction J
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